Let’s talk about dialog in writing. More to the point, let’s talk about how to skillfully
use (or not use) the word ‘said’.
I started reading Stephen King’s book, On Writing, looking for sage pearls of wisdom. Perhaps it was the ADD, or perhaps it was
impatience on my part, but I got half-way through the book and decided that the
best way to study Stephen King was to read
Stephen king. The one pearl of wisdom
that stuck with me (a commandment which King admitted to breaking again and
again) was that when writing dialogue, you should always use ‘said’ as your
speech tag.
“It’s time to go,” Julie said.
This rule is pretty much Gospel canon throughout the writing
community, and it’s sound advice.
The problem is, nearly all published authors ignore this
rule from time to time. So what gives?
Well, I’ve done research on the topic, and I think I’ve
uncovered the secret. What I’ve come up
with are eight rules for writing dialog that won’t make you sound like a rank
beginner.
Rule #1
Always
use said.
There is a time and a place for creativity, but this is not
one of them. Please. If you feel that urge to have your character opine,
articulate, relate, tell, or vocalize—just stop. Stand up, take a breath, then count to
ten. Now sit back down and type, ‘said’.
Ok, that’s out of the way.
Rule #2
When
a character asks a question, you can (and probably should) use ‘asked’ instead
of ‘said’.
Don’t use any other synonym.
This includes queried, inquired, requested, interrogated, etc. Again, there is a time and a place for
creativity; this is not it, either.
Here is an example:
“What time is it?” John asked.
Very good.
Rule #3
When
answering a question, you may use one of the following: said, answered,
replied, or responded.
You have a little bit of freedom here, but don’t be tempted
to go overboard. Stick to these four
verbs, and you’ll be safe.
“It’s time to go,” Julie said.
“What time is it?” John asked.
“Nearly half past ten,” Julie
answered. “My mother is waiting up. She’s gonna kill me.”
See how that just rolls off the page?
Now for a little creativity.
If you’re tired of an endless page full of ‘he said’, and ‘she said’,
try this next rule.
Rule #4
If
you put a short action sentence before a line of dialogue, you can omit the
speech tag altogether. The sentence should
mention the character who is speaking, and it should include an action that the
character does.
Ok, this one is going to take an example.
John closed his math textbook and
scooped his notes into a pile. “Is it
that late? I completely lost track of
time.”
You can also put the action sentence between two lines of dialogue
by the same character.
“I’ll send a text.” Julie fished her phone out of her backpack
and started punching keys on the screen.
“She won’t flip out if she thinks I’m on my way.”
This one can get a little awkward, and it might take some
practice to get it right. Try to keep
the subject for both lines of dialogue the same. In the previous the example, both dialogue lines
refer to Julie’s mother: “I’ll send her a text,” and “She won’t flip out…”
Rule #5
You
almost never need an adverb after said.
I said almost never, because as a general rule you
should avoid it like the plague. If
you’ve done your job well as a writer, the reader should hear your adverb in
the character’s voice. Consider this bad
example:
“Julie hasn’t called, and it’s
after ten,” Martha said worriedly.
Just reading this sentence you know that Martha is
worried. The reader already gets it, so
you don’t need to spell it out for them further. In this case you ought to fall back to Rule
#1.
Here is an example of when an adverb does work:
Mary sidled into the crowded
lecture hall and eased into the seat beside her friend.
Jenna covered her mouth with her
hand and leaned close. “Rough morning?”
“My alarm didn’t go off. I ran here as fast as I could,” Martha answered
quietly.
In this case, if I omitted the adverb ‘quietly’, the reader would
be left to wonder if Martha is speaking in a normal loud voice, or if she is
whispering.
Again, the key is to try Rule #1 first, and read sentence aloud
without the adverb. If ‘said’ still feels a little out of tune
then you can add the adverb.
That said, you can still avoid the adverb if you apply Rule
#6.
Rule #6
In
situations where a character is not speaking with a normal voice (e.g., strong
emotion, loud volume, or whispering), you may use any verb that can be
construed as a vocal utterance.
‘Said’ implies that the character is speaking in a normal
conversational tone, at a normal conversational volume.
What happens if the character is yelling? Or whispering?
Here is where things can get a little creative—but be
conservative. What you’re looking for is
a snug fit. If you start getting too
colorful the effect becomes noticeable and your dialog will start to sound
cheesy.
Some examples are in order.
A good place to look for where you might apply this rule would be
whenever a character uses an exclamation point.
“Over here!” john said.
I’ve followed Rule #1 like you should always try to do, but in
this case it just doesn’t fit. John is
clearly not using his inside voice.
Let’s try something more creative.
“Over here!” john called.
“Over here!” john hollered.
Rule #6 can be applied in other ways. Consider a situation where John is responding
sarcastically, or if John is very angry.
“I’m having the best day of my
life,” John growled.
The key is to look for moments when the scene is emotionally
tense, or situationally ironic.
Use this rule sparingly.
It’s like cooking with celery seed or garlic. A little bit makes a huge difference, but a
little more is way too much. My rule of
thumb is no more than once every page, and save it for the times when the
tension in your scene is at its climax.
This isn’t for everyday use.
Rule #7
As
a corollary to rule #6, you must never use a verb that is not a vocal utterance,
or would in any way be confusing in the reader’s mind.
Here’s an example:
“I’m having the best day of my
life,” John smiled.
Can you see how ‘Smiled’ is not a sound?
You can fix this sentence two ways. Either you can apply rule #4:
John smiled. “I’m having the best day of my life.”
Or you can fall back to rule #1:
“I’m having the best day of my
life,” John said with a smile.
Let’s look at another example.
“I’m having the best day of my
life,” John laughed.
Is John speaking, or is he laughing? You really can’t do both. In this case, you might use rule #4:
John laughed. “I’m having the best day of my life.”
Rule #8.
If
two (and only two) people are speaking in a quick exchange, you can omit the
speech tags altogether.
This works if there are just two characters in the scene. Any more than that, and the exchange becomes
confusing. Here is an example adapted from
Monty Python:
Michael knocked on the office door.
A man called from inside. “Come in!”
Michael opened the door and stepped
inside. Mr. Barnard sat behind his desk,
his hands folded in his lap.
“Is this the right room for an
argument?” Michael asked.
Mr. Barnard sat forward. “I’ve told you once.”
Michael frowned. “No you haven’t.”
“Yes I have.”
“When?”
“Just now.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.”
Keep in mind that the reader can quickly lose track of which
character is speaking, so after five or six lines you might want to add a conversational
beat and a speech tag.
Conclusion
Hopes this helps. If
you disagree, feel free to sound off and let me know what you think.
And keep writing!
